Nuggets of Wisdom

Darling... says a husband sheepishly to his wife, Let's try a new position tonight.
Good idea! She replies: You stand in front of the sink and do the dishes,
and I'll sit in front of the TV and fart.!

A very snobby woman is sitting in a restaurant, having just finished her clam chowder. As she leans over to reach into her purse for her wallet to pay the waiter, she releases a loud fart that makes everyone turn towards her table. Hoping to blame the flatulent blast on the waiter, she sits up with an air of indignation on her face and shouts: “Stop it!” To which the smart waiter replies, “Of course madam, which way did it go?”

A mathematician, a philosopher, and a blonde all go to Hell and receive a challenge from Satan: if they can stump him, they'll be set free, and be able to go to Heaven. The philosopher goes first and asks the Devil a very hard philosophy question, to which the Devil snaps his fingers, gets a laptop, goes online, and gives the answer. The mathematician tries as well, but the Devil instantly gets the answer by using his laptop. When it comes down to the blonde, she pulls up a chair, drills three holes in it, sits down and farts.

Now... she says, Which hole did the fart come out of?

That's easy, says Satan, All three!

No! It came out of my butthole!

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